As I’ve gotten older, I’ve often wondered, is this it?....
If this is all there is?
If this is as good as it gets?
Please let me start this by saying that my life is great. It’s wonderful! I feel so lucky and have so many blessings. You probably feel the same way too. We all go through varying degrees of trials and tribulations but on the whole, we are extremely fortunate compared to so many others. There are so many people all around the world who live in unimaginable horror, abuse and poverty. I get that. I honestly truly do acknowledge that.
Even as I’m writing this, I’m feeling uncomfortable. But feelings are feelings. Denying them or pushing them away doesn’t actually get rid of them. Comparing your situation to someone else's half away across the globe rarely makes you feel better.
So I want to talk about the fact that there are also a great number of people living a seemingly great life that feel a bit uninspired, bored, frustrated or just simply wanting more.
When you ask people what they want most in life or what they want for their kids, most people don’t say a yacht, a Ferrari and a private jet. They say they just want to be happy. And they want their kids to be happy. That’s it. We are all running around doing a million and one things….so that we can feel happy.
Because most of us are not quite as happy as we could be. We are just…..fine.
In the 2003 movie, The Italian Job, one of the characters says he’s fine. The other replies, “you know what fine stands for don’t you?” “Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional”
Many people are walking around saying they’re F.I.N.E but generally feeling a bit lost, lonely, isolated, disconnected and sad.
So we go out there and try to find happiness. Like it’s a long lost friend or a child playing hide and seek. We are reading books, doing courses & listening to podcasts trying to locate where the hell happiness has got to.
Some people leave their job, ditch their career, sell all their stuff and go nomad.
Some people even start a business in the hopes that happiness will be found there. Because not having a ‘boss’ equals happiness, right? So once they have the business going and the money is rolling in and we're working with all these fabulous clients, we will finally be able to be happy!
Because happiness is OUT THERE surely is it not?!
Oh but how wrong we all are.
If you’ve read any sort of personal development book or attended any personal development seminar, hell even if you’ve read an instagram meme or two, you would have discovered by now that happiness isn’t ‘out there’. True happiness comes from within. Happiness is a way of BEing, not a destination. Happiness is a choice, not something to go pick up along with a loaf of bread and a bottle of milk.
Happiness is an inside job.
Oh, that sounds so amazing doesn’t it. How lovely.
But how does that stop the yearning? The desire for more?
Because the problem we actually have is…..RESISTANCE.
We are in resistance to our feelings. We are judging them as right or wrong.
If we want more, we are in resistance to that feeling because we were told we should be happy with what we already have.
We are in so much resistance to our own feelings, that we push them away and come up with a whole bunch of excuses why we can’t do what we really feel called to do.
We don’t feel totally happy, we are in resistance to the fact that we aren’t totally happy and we make it a bad thing rather than just acknowledging the fears and the feelings and letting them just be there for a minute.
If we just allowed ourselves to FEEL our feelings instead of the usual go-to’s like self medicating or numbing, we might just finally hear that voice deep inside of us that might have a better way.
We might be able to do what we've always wanted to do. That thing deep in our heart that we've been too scared to hear or acknowledge.
As I’ve been working through this myself, I know for me, it’s about being still, being kind and compassionate to myself and really finding areas in my business and my life that truly light me up.
Although financial coaching is so important and so needed, coaching women around their purpose in life and the transitions they’re going though is where true transformation lies. And while I still work with client on strategies, skills and techniques in business, career and finance, the most critical areas for long term success is being in total alignment with what you’re doing and having clear goals & intentions.
Because we still have a lot of time left. And I know I want my next chapter to be absolutely AH-mazing!
So what about you? Do you ever have that thought too? The “is this as good as it gets” thought? What changes have you been resisting and what would it look like if you stopped, listened and followed your heart?